Friday, April 29, 2011

A Caveman's Guide to Riding the Bus - Lesson 1: BIG vs. SMALL

A. Bus Not A Taxi
Taxi come when you wave. Stop wherever you are. Take you where you want to go. Taxi stop if you running after it. Drop you where you want. Taxi expensive.
Bus have stops. Run on schedule. Bus not stop if you wave. Bus not stop if you shout f-word. Bus not stop unless you at bus stop. You not see bus until it pulling away? Bus keep going. Bus cheap to ride.

Bus BIG. Taxi SMALL.

B. Bus Driver There to Drive Bus
Bus driver not make schedules. Bus driver not responsible for cuts due to economic downturn. Bus driver not one who assigned 40 foot bus to run needing 60 foot bus. Schedules, cuts and other things above bus driver's pay grade.

Bureaucracy BIG. Bus driver SMALL.

C. Bus Driver Only Human
Bus driver not able to overcome laws of physics. Bus driver not able to make bus fly over traffic. Bus driver not make potholes big, seats small, or seat-mate smelly. Bus driver not hit potholes on purpose (bus driver also on bumpy bus for much longer than you). Bus driver not one who spilled coffee on floor near back of bus. Bus driver not late to make rider angry.

Reality BIG. Patience of Some Riders SMALL
D. Bus Driver Work Hard
May not seem so, but driving bus not a joy ride. Bus driver deal with crazies. Bus driver deal with angry yuppies. Bus driver deal with being beat up, spit on, hit and worse. Bus driver deal with angry drivers with busy middle finger. You mean that not mean bus driver "number one"? No. Does not. Means driver with busy middle-finger asshole who not like buses.

Bus driver work long hours away from families. Bus driver work split shifts, sometimes no breaks. Bouncy bus hard on bus driver's muscles and bones. Bus driver enjoys job of driving bus for nice passengers but sometimes bad passengers and others make job difficult. Bus driver sometimes treated like bus driver five years old by boss, even if bus driver a grown-up with kids of own, and college degree.

Bus driver work in environment made hard by suits. Politicians wear suits. Big time managers too.

Suits' paychecks BIG. Bus driver paychecks SMALL.

E. Damage to Bus Not Likely
Science important. Science determine what happen when objects collide. Some things collide, both bounce back. Not always.

Step in front of moving bus - you get squashed. Damage to bus? None at all.




Al M said...

Good one!

Steve Fung said...

Great Post Jeff.Keep them coming.

Jeff Welch said...

FYI, I'm coming to PDX next Friday (6th), so if you know anyone who wants a ride from SEA to PDX early-ish Friday or back to SEA on Sunday, give a holla. Have room for up to 4 down, 5 back.


Al M said...

You be here?
Let me buy you dinner!

Jeff Welch said...

Al, would love to break bread, but we go dutch. My wife will be with so can double if you care to. We'll be staying at the Mark Spencer Hotel on 11th.