Screwing our retirees is HOW WE ROLL

Screwing our retirees is HOW WE ROLL

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


 Hey internets™, its been a few days. With the term wrapping up and Velo plans taking form it’s been busy!
 As you may know I am forming a project to show how one person can change there lives with a Human Powered Vehicle, and while I get the nessary funds and what not, I am taking my bike everywhere. When my bike has issues (which it always seems to have) I go by bus! This week alone I’ve gone by bus quiet a bit and I can say that I am fucking done exposing myself to this greener, albeit disturbing form of transportation. Don’t get me wrong Trimet, you do provide a vaulable service but is it worth the cost of a ticket? Lets take a look!
Original Here!

Trimet™, Chariot of the Portland!

Trimet™ is the transit authority in Portland. With buses, lightrail and a tram they can get you pretty much where ever you need to go but I really have some gripes that I would like to point out that I feel are just other reasons to adapt a lifestyle around a HPV and why a lot of people choose the expensive way out by buying a car.

1.Cost. Ticket on the left prchased at 12 noon on a week day. Ticket on the right purchased at 4pm on a weekend.

When you board the bus you slide your ticket in the money slot or your $2.10 and the bus driver gives you one of these flimsy paper transfers. Now when I first moved to Portland two years ago the fare was $2.00 and you got a a transfer pass that went to 12 midnight no matter what time you got on. Now the fair has gone up 10 cents, and on a weekday your transfer will only last for two hours after you board. On the weekend it is stretched to 4 hours! Really Trimet™ really? So what this is telling me is that while the city would love everybody to go by public transportation, the cost of fuel has steadily risen (hey, we got to keep our middle eastern oil overlords and the auto companies fat and happy!) which means that the passengers have to open their asses to save money! Does this make any sense to anybody? It’s lost on me! If I take the bus for a whole year while going to school it would cost me about $1,008 dollars  to not use my car! What the fuck?

2.People. The Flora and Fana of Public Transportation!

Now I will say this for people on the bus, they do keep things interesting but in the long run it’s just not worth it! When you get on the bus it’s a roll of the dice. Why I’ve been exposed to all kinds of carbon based lifeforms while aboard the Trimet movie/what gets my ass downtown. The crazy guy who talks to no one, the paranoid drug runner with 3 pounds of weed rolled up in a rug, the toothless meth head, the single mom with 3 kids running around screaming, retired couples with Jesus hats, you name it and they have been on the bus! While for the most part I have a  live and let live attitude for my fellow human beings, there is one inhabitant of the public lines that really chaps my ass, and it’s those inconsiderate people that use their bus time to talk on a cellphone, and because it’s a fucking bus they have to talk loudly! This in turn forces everyone on the bus to be part of the conversation whither they want to hear about it or not. Here are some fun things I have heard while trying to stop the dogs from barking in my head on the bus!
“Damn that bitch owes you money!”
“Leave his ass girl!”
“Yes and I allowed you to pay me $150 of what you owed!”
“Oh Shantell, I’m not cookin that shit again!”
“Fuck that bitch, I’ll split her fucking open!”
“The doctor said I’m safe now!”


That's right! Tell that bitch he your man! Get your own man!

You get the idea. the thing that really disturbs me is that 9 out of the 10 people who do this are young women!  Somehow there are women out there who think that time on the bus is time to ask her best girl about that scrub she with and to beat her mug to a fine cadaver like finish! Bitch, hang up the phone, put your compact in your Hello Kitty purse and have some fucking repect for the other poor assholes who have to take the bus! It’s misrable enough as it is without you gabbing about the shit nobody else (including the poor person on the other side of the phone) wants to hear about!

La la la! I can't hear you! La la la my own thoughts scare me! La la la I don't want to interact with other human beings or the world at large!

Another thing about my fellow bustranauts is that a lot of them wear headphones. Headphones attached to a unseen mp3 player or phone. I think this sends up a very clear signal, and that is I don’t want to interact with the outside world. I find this very distrubing because it serves to not only further disconnect people from an already paranoid and fear based culture but it also leads to infection and hearing damage. I feel so sad when I see how isolated people are these days from each other. It’s like we are all in our own little world, with our own smartphones, mp3 players, ipads, kindles and what not! How about trying, just once to unplug the mind control device that is making you go deaf and saying “hello” to another human being. We are not solitandy creatures, we need human contact and interaction to be healthy and well adjusted people, but then again if you are going for unhealthy and mal-adjusted for the sake of say, population control, then this makes sense. Why have to look around and see what’s really going on when you can watch that last episode of Glee on your iPad! I can only imagie what the hearing of the guy sitting next to me with in ear headphones, listening to death metal so loud I can hear every instrument from 3 feet away is going to be like in 10 years. As a person who suffers from hearing damage, let me say, it’s nothing you ever want to experince!

3. Safety.This is where the Ford Bronco hit the bus I was on!

I’ve experinced some very dangerious moments on a Trimet bus. They range from getting gagged on by a person who was clearly fighting off a life threatening illness, almost getting tear gassed while the bus drove through a riot happening downtown and to top it off, a collision. Let me walk you through this one. It was on a Wednesday and I was heading into town to get to arranging class. I would have taken my bike, but it had a flat! I got on the bus and everything was fine until about 500 feet from the stop I was going to get off at. I was sitting on the front right part of the bus and as I turn to see the light on the corner of 5th and Harrison I saw it coming, a Ford Bronco that was not stopping! The bus driver did’nt see this truck but only a yellow light and spend up to make it and her schedule. I saw it coming and grasped a safety rail and balled myself up! I watched as the truck t-boned the bus. Infront of me a older woman flew from her seat and was stopped when her head bounced off the front left wheel well. She got up after the accident and walked out of the bus. I was ok, but it was very scary. It made me realize that there is very little safety on a Trimet bus, but plenty of the illusion of safety! I felt safer riding my bike to school and dodging traffic than I did paying the $2.10 and sitting in a plactic seat next to a guy who smells like ass, looking at porn on his cellphone while eating miniature tacos and a woman with bad breath screaming at her husband on the phone while the boil on her neck drains!

Say, is this the coach to the town commons? Some fop gave me the wrong schedule and I chant a moment to lose good sir!

There you have folks! I am writing up my plan this week and hope to have things rolling by the end of the summer. If you are not sure if a HPV is right for you, spend some time on a public transportation line near you and you will see what I mean! For making it this far, here’s a little treat for you, I hope you where offended!

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