Dr Jeff's Trimet humor

The Red Line to the airport has more confused old people than the early bird buffet line at Dennys. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) October 21, 2013

Heads up, riders. Signal problems on the Steel Bridge are making your MAX trip equivalent to a winter jaunt over Donner Pass. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) October 24, 2013

Pretty sure we were at the Rose Garden longer than Greg Oden. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) October 24, 2013

FYI - no problems with the eastbound Red Line over the bridge. @TriMet you know I love you but throw a brother an update once in a while!
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) October 24, 2013

Public transit certainty number 437 - the "kissed on the neck" tattoo is never worn by someone you'd want to kiss on the neck. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) September 20, 2013

Ten transit cops in full regalia strutting around gateway transit center. Must have been a really expensive fare someone evaded! #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) September 11, 2013

Hope you can catch my podcast, broadcast from the MAX and featuring drunk people speaking incoherently with barely concealed rage. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) August 22, 2013

My bus driver is kind enough to set air conditioning to "Arctic" in case any passengers board carrying a side of beef. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) August 16, 2013

Bus stop: Guy pulls out a thick sheaf of paper schedules, finds his bus, checks arrival time, quickly as pulling up a transit app. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) August 5, 2013

Saw a banana peel on the steps at the 82nd Ave. MAX station. There are never any Keystone Kops around when you need one. #trimet
— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) August 2, 2013

Who knew? "New study reveals 84% of men on TriMet with lip-print on neck go on to top management in Fortune 500." Wow!

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) July 24, 2013

Guy ABSOLUTELY ROCKING THE FUCK OUT to the music he's listening to. Oh, wait. No headphones. No music player. Ah.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) July 19, 2013

Jesus, Portland, quit fucking stabbing bus drivers. They've got it tough enough without being stabbed. The rest of you - THANK your driver.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) July 19, 2013

Pretty darn thankful I'm not on acid while watching this over-tan aerobic lady claw up her burrito on the MAX. It's the little things, man.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) July 18, 2013

Official Red Line gear: rolling suitcase, pink Voodoo Doughnut box, confused look. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) July 12, 2013

Someone on this MAX is either cooking a hot dog or they should only sweat at outdoor grill parties for minimal offending. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) June 27, 2013

The fare suspect was released with a long, drawn-out warning and the immediate need for fresh underpants. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) June 13, 2013

You've gotta be pretty drama-starved to watch a fare evasion bust from start to finish. Like job-shadowing a mall cop. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) June 13, 2013

I accidentally sat in the No Teeth section, which doubles as the Horrific Mind-Boggling BO section and the Got Weed Dude section. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) June 4, 2013

I will sheepishly admit that I walked back to a type 4 while we were stuck, to enjoy the Arctic a/c onboard. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) June 4, 2013

I hate that the 24 Fremont runs so infrequently, but look at it during rush hour! #personalbus #trimet http://t.co/r1CU3xAGXt

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) May 18, 2013

There's a guy on my MAX who took the tribal tattoo craze SUPER FUCKING FOR SERIOUS. Cat was not messing around. Sacrificed an entire arm.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) May 10, 2013

On the train with a middle school field trip. Poor kids. They need a field trip to age 17.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) May 8, 2013

It was nice of #trimet to run this open bloody mary bar on the bus. Do they do this on every morning bus? What else have I missed on max?

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) May 6, 2013

Dear dude sitting next to me on MAX: thanks for smelling like weed. At least I can pass the time reminiscing. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) May 3, 2013

Percentage of non-service dogs on MAX who are pitbulls = 80. Percentage of these with spike or chain collars = 100.

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) April 19, 2013

Sheesh, looks like I barely made it across the bridge before rail traffic was shut down by a toolbox and someone's old gym clothes. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) April 17, 2013

Victory: rode backwards to work on MAX, arrived 25 minutes younger! #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) April 4, 2013

Guy on the MAX has a "crack-binge Harvey Kietel with Phil Spector's hair" thing working. Nature is impressive and unpredictable. #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) April 1, 2013

Can't use the "there are kids around, don't swear" plea with this lady on MAX. She's with her kids. Maybe "shut your fucking mouth?" #trimet

— Doctor Jeff (@doctor_jeff) March 13, 2013