Friday, December 28, 2012


I really love that there's that thing where you pay $100 a month to wait 45 minutes out in the cold for a MAX train. 

You guys seriously need to get in on this! Just give Trimet 20% of what you make and they allow you to regularly be late for everything! 

Want to be late for family get togethers and awkward double dates? Leave the car at home and give the MAX a shot! 

To be fair, I'm only extremely late once of twice a week and never make my transfers. So, there's that. 

I'm glad that when I do catch my MAX train it smells like a cat litter box and when you touch the handrails you get the bird flu.  

Anyone want to buy a flute? A gentleman on the MAX train is selling one. He says its legitimate. 

When you stop and look back on all the penises and questionable stains you've seen on Portland's buses and trains, you can't help but smile. 

Im suddenly reminded of that old saying, "Make a plan, Trimet laughs." 

Hey Trimet, no hard feelings about this mo... Is that poop on the train? Yes? Yes, that is poop on the train. Nevermind. 

All joking aside, I'm standing next to a hearty puddle of semen at this Trimet bus stop. 

I was grossed out by the semen pond at first, but then I realized I probably sit in worse every time I catch the Trimet 75. 

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